My cold and dark birthday month was a period of turning inward, towards the past and the depth of the subconscious, before trying to become visible in the world.
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Even though my life in Leipzig was evolving rapidly throughout autumn, I could not deny being pulled back to Gran Canaria after leaving my art residency in the summer, and so I went on a trip that turned out to be an reconnection with my strength and joy.
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After a long period of celibacy I had taken up the search for a life partner for the first time, an approach that let me see many connections in a clearer light. But I was more in love with the feeling of starting over than any specific person.
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One month after my return from Gran Canaria, I moved house to permanently relocate to the center of Leipzig – an intention would turn out to be misguided, but at the time I was blissfully unaware about the dark side of my new life.
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I came back from my artist residency in Gran Canaria full of inspiration. So I threw myself back into my life in Leipzig, where I found a new creative community filled with sensitive women who would become some of my best friends in the coming years.
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My art residency led me to the island of Gran Canaria. After a period of darkness, the island of eternal spring presented itself like an exciting summer fantasy, only enhanced by the creepy undertones of the local cave culture and spiky vegetation.
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Between starting to learn Salsa and Bachata, doing a photoshoot for my visual identity, and looking for a new apartment, June was a full month in which I tried to create the foundation for a new, more connected way of living my life, despite the traces of my illness that still lingered.
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After completing my in-patient treatment for depression, I had to learn a new way of relating to my life in Leipzig, my home, communities, and work. Creating art took second place to recovering from fatigue in this phase of my life.
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In January I had to face the fact that I was struggling with major depression and made the choice to put myself in the hospital, which was one of the harder decisions of my life. I left the clinic mid-March, after a difficult but ultimately neccessary process.
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