Things started slipping away as the year came to an end. I found myself anxious and crying frequently without knowing why, and neither exercise nor company brought me relief.
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The days got darker and the walls drew closer as my self-imposed social isolation intensified, but on the other side of that loneliness was also an intense creative force I was determined to put to use.
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In the spirit of Ursula K. Le Guin (“women grow things in the darkness”) I spent the witch month of October in a spiritual and artistic isolation that was only punctured by an esoteric bookclub and frequent visits to upscale workout classes.
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September was about immersing myself in the parks surrounding my home. This connection to myself and nature helped envisioning the positive changes and expansion I wanted to bring about in my life and art.
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My trip to the Ostsee at the beginning of the month was a wonderful and solitary experience that helped me heal from my recent breakup. I realized I also had outgrown a shared workspace I had been part of for many years, and so I resumed to set up my art studio at home instead.
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In Istanbul hab ich zum ersten Mal Wrongfidence als Thema eines Workshop verpackt und mit den Teilnehmer:innen der CoCreate-Workshopwoche der Kulturplattform Maviblau zusammen drei Stunden lang im Istanbuler Stadtteil Cihangir gezeichnet.
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During the snowstorms of early march my relationship finally reached its breaking point. In a haze of sensation, I was only able to extract myself with considerable effort. I fell onto a much-needed ground of meals in bed, my journaling practice, and the longterm friends who had survived that period of my life.
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I was struggling to balance the demands of my professional life and my relationship, which had suffocated me with its dark pull to the point of complete overwhelm. Frequent illnesses, accidents and trips to the emergency room for mysterious problems had started to become a normal part of our lives.
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The romantic rush I usually experience in the winter season had cooled off somewhat during the long, dark month of January. I was deeply immersed in trying to understand myself and what I wanted from my relationships, while being sucked into a highly domestic life that felt more and more like a vortex of intense emotions.
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